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Trolley Graveyard | even if it is the end

Trolley Graveyard | even if it is the end - The Trolley Graveyard
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I kept thinking that if I just worked hard enough, that if I finally did the right thing, things would get easier. There was something out there, I thought. One day I would turn a corner, open a door, and in a flash of radiance everything would become clear. It had to, I reasoned. All the effort couldn't be in vain. None of the goals they wanted me to push toward mattered to me, none of the placebos worked more than a day or two, and when the buzz inevitably wore off I was back to wandering around the darkness with only the knowledge that one more thing had failed. I could find all the places, take all of the pictures, and still - I'd only catch fleeting glimpses of it in the sunlight through the leaves, in the slender vines gently pushing buildings back into oblivion. It was why I went alone so often, because there was no one else to distract me from my search.

Since I didn't know what else to do, I put together a massive puzzle - a labyrinth made of all the old hallways and deserted corridors, a spiral of words that I hoped someone brighter than me would be able to piece together one day. All the story fragments, all the images - they all fit together somehow. If only I could see how, if only I could make it work. It wasn't about money or fame or power, it was something that transcended all that - but I couldn't get there, I could only see it shimmering on the horizon like a mirage. As long as it was there, I would never be able to rest. Maybe it was why I loved things left to the quiet of their own dissolution - I envied them.

This wasn't something I did to entertain you or to make a name for myself. It's a plea for an answer, a last-ditch attempt to finally pry away all of the layers of garbage and lies we've wrapped ourselves in... and see something real, even if it is the end.


Vintage electric streetcars at the trolley graveyard; photograph/text by Matthew Christopher of Abandoned America.

Also in: The Trolley Graveyard

Trolley Graveyard | Ghost Train
Trolley Graveyard | You Light Me From Within
Trolley Graveyard | Old Friends
Trolley Graveyard | Graffiti By Night
Trolley Graveyard | Vandalized Bicentennial Car
Trolley Graveyard | About to Pounce
Trolley Graveyard | Sun-Dappled
Trolley Graveyard | Last Stop
Trolley Graveyard | Hillside View
Trolley Graveyard | End of the Line
Trolley Graveyard | between heaven and earth
Trolley Graveyard | Agape
Trolley Graveyard | RTA Line Trolley
Trolley Graveyard | Railway Stream
Trolley Graveyard | 1949 St. Louis Streamliner SEPTA Car