the heavy price of sorrow

modern research shows that
chronic, severe depression is a degenerative disorder.
each major breakdown leaves you less able to
fight off the next one, as the
lows get deeper and deeper,
the highs less frequent and intense.
each section of roof that falls in, each wall that crumbles
means it is less likely the damage can ever be repaired.
as you slip into this darkness,
even your ability to physically perceive outside stimuli recedes -
your field of vision shrinks, your sense of taste and smell diminish,
the sounds and colors in the world slowly mute
until all you are left with
is a panoramic view of your own miseries.
the heavy price of sorrow is that
she is a parasite, a vampire, a jealous lover who
wishes to keep her beloved only to herself:
she shuts out your friends and family,
destroys your sleep patterns and appetite,
numbs you to things you enjoy, shatters your ability to work,
slows your speech and impairs your cognitive abilities,
ruins your ability to be anything but her slave -
all to perpetuate herself, to increase her hold on you,
to reign supreme in your life.
depression is a solar eclipse in which
the moon attempts to remain blocking the sun
so that it will never have to share the sky again.
all depression's roads lead to the same outcome,
and all her pristine logic is used to argue only one point:
that corruption, collapse, disappointment, and decay
are the inevitable outcomes of every endeavor,
and that the only release is the end.
such is the heavy price of sorrow.