The Scranton Lace Company | this parasite inside

there was something inside him
that thrived on chaos, that could only look down.
it revelled in disasters because it saw them
as the inevitable conclusion of things.
sometimes it made him sick.
it kept him up at night, whispering in his ear,
showing him all of the ways everything he loved could fall.
often it eclipsed even the warm afternoon sun,
leaving him in the dark shadow of every terrible possibility
while others went on about their business,
blithely unaware.
it was hard to separate this thing's influence from logic
because sometimes it was right, and time was always on its side;
that which did not crumble today would probably do so tomorrow
or the next day, or the next. it made no difference.
as such, when the worst did happen,
it was often a relief, as the agonizing uncertainty
that preceded it was over.
thus there was little to look forward to,
save for quiet oblivion, a silent place
far away from all things, where passing frivolties
like love and hope did not intrude with their
false promises and fickle departures.
it was an awful thing, this parasite inside him.
he hoped it would leave but feared it was too late, that
it was too inextricably intertwined with
the most fundamental aspects of his spirit
for him to ever truly free himself from its grasp
and recover all the joys and wonders
which for so long he had been denied.
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Scranton Lace Company, Scranton PA. 2008

If you'd like to learn more about this location, it is a featured chapter in the book "Abandoned America: The Age of Consequences," which you can order signed copies of here. It's also available (unsigned) through Amazon/Barnes & Noble/Powells/Indiebound/Booksamillion.

You may also be interested in my new book, Abandoned America: Dismantling the Dream, available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and many other online booksellers across the globe.

Photograph by Matthew Christopher of Abandoned America.